The Mobile Stationery Store

The Corpse in the Machine

1. 1: “You do realise there’s like a 90% chance this thing is beyond repair, right? Like, if it ever works again it will be a miracle. Barring miracle, no more working. That’s what I’m saying.”
2. 2: “Just shut up and help me carry it, will you?”
3. 1: “Fine.”
4. 2: “Thanks, just… there, on two. One, t-“
5. 1: “Tw-ooh, Christ that’s heavy! Got a dead body in here or something?”
6. 2: “…Over here.”
7. 1: “What? No!”
8. 2: “No, what?”
9. 1: “Is there a dead body in this thing?”
10. 2: “…Yes.”
11. 1: “Are you joking? Because, frankly, you could have chosen a better time than when I was – ah – carrying it to tell me… No, please, come on. Just tell me the truth. I just need to know whether the liquid on my fingers is oil or blood or soup or what.”
12. 2: “No.”
13. 1: “No, what?”
14. 2: “No what, what?”
15. 1: “No dead body, or – left – no: dead body? As in – more left, tilt it – did you break this by putting a dead body in it? Well?”
16. 2: “Yes.”
17. 1: “Ah.”
18. 2: “Here?”
19. 1: “Here.”
20. 2: “Any chance at all of fixing it, do you reckon?”
21. 1: “Mate, it’s knackered. Small rodents, I said, didn’t I? Humans? Not a chance. Bloody mess.”
22. 2: “Bloody mess.”